Two

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What a rollercoaster.

First the original DE IVF cycle was within a whisker of cancellation after Hobbesy overstimulated.

Then the FET was almost cancelled when my lining failed to thicken.

Finally, the pregnancy looked like it was set for cancellation after yesterday’s horrible experience.

I’ll begin at the beginning. I was at a wildlife park with my sister and niece and little DG. I went to the loo, and found a lot of red blood. Immediate panic of course. I didn’t have an excuse to leave immediately, I didn’t want to explain.  I pleaded a migraine and went to sit down, alternating with frantic texting to Mr DG and Hobbesy, and trips to the loo for frantic knicker checking. My mood hit rock bottom when I passed red clots and membranes.

I finally got home at about 8, after a long drive in bad rain. Luckily little DG fell asleep. Mr DG put me into a clean bed with a hot water bottle and brought me drinks. I popped extra progesterone suppositories and panicked. The IVF clinic were not answering messages left on their emergency number. NHS Early Pregnancy Units only scan at weekends for admissions via A&E such as suspected ectopic.

Eventually I remembered someone posting on a UK forum I frequent, about a private scan place in SE London, and I looked it up. They do mostly 3-d scans and picture albums, their site says they scan at weekends. DP called them at 11pm, and their answer machine had a second number to call. It was diverting to a midwife’s mobile. She said they would see us today.

I had a call at 8.30am, when I described the (further) loss of white membranes this morning, she sounded sober but kind. Little DG’s godmother was already due here for her regular Sunday “watch him for a few hours” so once she arrived, off we went.

It is in a business centre near Woolwich. Most peculiar. But as someone with a hospital phobia, I quipped to Mr DG “Maybe having a scan in an industrial estate will be good karma”

We only had to wait  a few minutes. My heart was in my mouth as I slid my bottom down the bench. She popped in the cam.. .and immediately I saw a sac pop up on the screen. Two sacs.

My heart stopped and I burst into tears. “They’re there… they’re still there… they haven’t fallen out!”

She had to pause in her scanning as I was shaking so much, lucky I didn’t squeeze the cam… think pelvic floor in spasm. Mr DG looked quite stunned too.

She took great care to check each sac and the beautiful perfectly round yolk sacs in each. I kept saying “At least one looks good doesn’t it?” “Both look good” she kept saying patiently. Mr DG is a twin himself, and I’m not quite sure how he felt about my slightly cavalier “I hope we’ll get to bring home one of the two!”

She took my hcg (results tomorrow) and said that she could see some pulsing, a small bleed which she thinks is implantation. I asked if I should bedrest and she said no. She doesn’t think we should worry.

However, I can’t be  away from home and bleed again. I had to tell a work colleague that I won’t be travelling out of London with her tomorrow to a meeting, and my boss that I won’t be back from my holiday tomorrow but will take a week sick leave. She has been very supportive during previous losses, but me saying I’m pregnant and it’s twins was a bit of a shock even for her.

I’ll cancel the scan at the IVF clinic this Tuesday and try to make it through to NEXT Tuesday.

Mr DG’s twin brother, his girlfriend, her two children and a dog arrive shortly to stay for a week and I have told Mr DG to advise them of “my condition” as I will be embarrassed otherwise to be a lazy cow while they’re here. We only have two  bedrooms so if I’m not in residence in the grown up bedroom, but kipping in with Mr DG in little DG’s room, there will be no lolling on the bed watching TV and surfing, sigh.

To save work, we popped into the supermarket to buy some pizzas. And Mr DG snapped the image above. God help us. I’m so scared and elated and shocked and stunned.

If this was a soap opera, you wouldn’t be able to imagine such a story line.

(Mr DG says he saw an omen two nights ago, twin thistles growing in our garden. A lone thistle popped up the day his father died, he said. Mr Hobbesy has been saying it will be twins, right from the start)

If anyone has any info about this sort of bleed, please comment . Is it really implantation? Is that different to sub chorionic bleeding? How worried do I need to be?

I am just emotionally wrung out. The last 24 hours have been a real shock. I’m glad I’m going to stay home  a few days longer.

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~ by drownedgirl on August 19, 2007.

26 Responses to “Two”

  1. Thank goodness for the scan. That is such wonderful news. I am still sorry you have been through the torture of the last 24 hours. I’m really glad you are taking some time off. I think it is very wise for you emotionally if not physically. Take care xx

  2. Oh my gosh, I have been waiting for your update and hoping hoping for good news and I am so glad that you have it! I am so glad that you had the scan and can relax a bit. The last day must have been so stressful, I can’t even imagine. Hang in there and take it easy. I am thinking about you and sending big hugs your way.

  3. wow! wow! wow! what news! I think a week off work is well deserved and a good plan. Take care of you. Very best wishes!

  4. What great news, I am so relieved! Re the bleeding, not sure why it’s not a subchorionic haematoma. Getupgrrl, the mother of all infertility bloggers, went through this, or rather her surrogate, sarah did, and the bleeding went on and on from what I remember. But gefilte turned out fine. I hope your bleeding is well and truly over.

  5. fantastic news! double trouble and they’re not even born yet 🙂 🙂 🙂 take good care and rest up. X

  6. FABULOUS NEWS!! I had clot and red blood similar to you, cervix dilated too or it felt like it did, was convinced it was over, if you have two surely the implantation bleed would be more than usual, personally I think…. nope I don’t want to say it as I don’t want to jinx anything….. but you know what I am thinking 😉 xxx

  7. PS also had intermittent bleeds until about 18 weeks was checking my breasts every five minutes to see if they were still sore (probably ended up being sore from all the poking!) thinking of you and keep checking in. I can’t help feeling excited. x

  8. soooooo relieved that you found a place that could see you promptly AND deliver such wonderful news. Very smart of you to take a week to just chill. Shame about the company tho’ 😉
    sending lots of additional love your way for that additional sac!
    xo

  9. I am so, so happy and relieved!!!

  10. i’m glad you were able to get a scan and that you have two healthy looking sacs. i can only imagine how scary that must have been for you.

  11. PS: Keep the other u/s appt. You can’t have too many pictures at this point!

  12. Oh, what a post – what a rollercoaster! Wow. I’m sending you good, positive vibes. I hope you get to lounge and watch tv and rest as much as you need to!

  13. Relieved and oh so very happy for you, DG!

  14. I’m so glad everything was okay! I can’t imagine what a relief that must have been.

    Put your feet up and take it easy. I’ll be sending lots of sticky vibes your way!

  15. Very relieved for you. You’ve had quite a day. Take it easy for the next few.

  16. So so relieved and happy for you.

    Maybe they were just digging in for a good long stay. So so relieved.

  17. What a relief!

  18. Twins! Fantastic news 🙂 I’m glad everything is okay.

  19. Jeez Louise! I go away for a weekend and THIS is what I missed?! Wow! Thank God they are still in there and okay. That bleeding must have been terrifying! I’m so glad you didn’t lose them. I understand you being ‘caviier’ about bringing home at least one: One is all you can hope for; it’s like it’d be too much to hope for both. Wow. Still reeling. I’m so happy for you all!

  20. Dear DrownedGirl

    I’ve just seen your blog and wanted to let you know that if you’re unhappy about any aspect of how well your clinic looks after you – such as not providing adequate information and support at all stages of your fertility treatment – then let your clinic know so they can address any concerns you may have.

    If you are dissatisfied with their response then you should contact the HFEA (Human Fertilisation and Authority) and ask them to look at it. The HFEA’s main priority is patient welfare – they are the independent regulator overseeing safe and appropriate practice in fertility treatment and embryo research – patient feedback and views are very important to them in working with clinics to continuously raise standards.

    To find out more go to http://www.hfea.gov.uk/en/1001.html

    Very glad to read that all is well.

    Regards, Alan Tipping – Stakeholder Relations Manager – HFEA

  21. Coo, HFEA reading my blog 🙂

    I should have posted probably that my clinic did get the message left for them on Saturday, in the end, and I had a call from the doctor yesterday, and he was very pleased to hear that everything was OK and concerned that there had been a problem with the call forwarding on their emergency contact number.

  22. I’m so sorry to hear all you had to go through. Sorry I haven’t been around to keep up with your blog. You’ve gone through so much already and you don’t need any more stress and emotional roller coasters. What a scare!! Glad to hear though everything is ok and how exciting you are having twins. So happy for you!!

  23. After reading all the details, it sounds like it was very scary. I lost one after implantation, but it was just a light flow of brown blood for five or six days. The doctor saw the remains of a small sack at my six week ultrasound; that’s when we knew what had happened. I am so very happy that everything looks OK for you now.

  24. Dear DG, what a wonderful relief that must be. So glad you can take it a bit easy now, just for your own peace of mind. Don’t be afraid to be a slug around your visitors — I’m sure they’ll be very sympathethic.

    A subchorionic bleed sounds likely — I agree with Thalia — or another possibility to consider is that one of your blasts split after transfer, and you lost a triplet.

    Hoping for no more rude shocks for you — just your run-of-the-mill twin pregnancy… 😉

  25. What a scary and exciting time! I hope all continues to go unbelievably well!

  26. Kath, it did LOOK like a gestational sac and embryo. Maybe it was a triplet. My god.

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