More on Time Traveler’s Wife

Having read some of the other postings from those who read the book, even more thoughts are thrown up in my mind.

The stories of the death of Henry and Clare’s mothers were very intense for me. Especially the deathbed scene for Clare’s mother.

I was with my mother, alone, at the age of 22, when she died and it was so much like this beautiful writing:

“… the room is silent. I walk to the bed. Mama is still. The laborious breathing that has haunted my dreams has stopped… I kneel by the bed, I pull back the covers and lay my ear against her heart. Her skin is warm. Nothing. No heart beats, no blood moves, no breath inflates the sails of her lungs. Silence. ”

I dream often of my mother. I dream we are together and in the dream, I know it’s only a dream. I want to say so many things to her, but I know that she’s not really there and that I will wake up. Clare sees Henry one last time, after his death.

I must say that the book has had more impact on me that any other book I have read.

I really struggle with loss. My therapist tries to tell me that my continual miscarriages are an attempt to vaccinate myself against loss and I am coming to see that they’re not an “accident”. Although it’s not my “fault” I miscarry, I put myself in that situation when I keep trying.

I.
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.

 II.
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place. But it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

III.
I walk down the same street There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in. It’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

IV.
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

V.
I walk down another street.

Thanks to my Kind Friend, I’m now walking down another street, I hope

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~ by drownedgirl on April 18, 2007.

One Response to “More on Time Traveler’s Wife”

  1. You’re definitely walking down another street, now. Smart woman.

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