Seed planting

Nope, not the wriggly sperm type of seed, in this case, the kernel of truth about a donor conceived child’s origins.

I found this piece very interesting:

“… 32 percent of parents using donor egg or sperm had disclosed to their children, while 45 percent planned to do so.Parents who disclosed or planned to do so typically subscribed to one of two strategies for revealing this information, Nachtigall and his colleagues found: the “seed-planting strategy,” in which they began talking to the child about being conceived with donor egg or sperm very early on, and the “right-time” approach, in which they waited until they felt the child would fully understand the process.On average, “seed planters” started talking to their children about their conception when they were 3 to 4 years old. The “right time” group had planned to begin the discussion with their children when they were 10 to 12 years old, but typically told their children when they were 6 or 7.Parents using the “seed-planting” strategy tended to be more at ease with their decision and less apprehensive, the researchers found. They believed this approach would give children the sense of “always knowing” that they were conceived with donor egg or sperm, making it “no big deal.” “

Both Kind Friend and I subscribe to the seed planting approach to a whole number of thorny parenting issues (sex education for instance)  and so it is not difficult to see how the donor egg aspect would just dovetail into those early discussions. Little DG has long since known that he grew out of a seed from daddy and an egg from mummy. Unless I were to tell an out and out fib, a DE child would need a modified version of this tale “Mummy’s eggs were not very good so her Kind Friend gave her one, and with daddy’s seed, this grew into you.”

I have bought a couple of books already suitable for young children and feel quite happy about discussing all this in due course, if we’re successful.


~ by drownedgirl on April 13, 2007.

One Response to “Seed planting”

  1. Seed planting here too. I can’t imagine the stress of having to have The Talk, it seems easier and more natural for the child to have always known, and donor issues to be spoken of freely, without shame.

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