Dilemma

I have a rather strained relationship with the early pregnancy and antenatal side of my local hospital, not surprising after 7 miscarriages. I’ve just had too many unsympathetic comments in my time and I have something of a phobia about the medical profession too.

I told my GP early on about our plan to do DE IVF and she arranged various blood tests for DP and me which saved us some pennies.

As I have a clotting disorder, I need to be on clexane while pregnant. I suspected I’d need anticoagulation while on the IVF drugs, and it turned out I was right. 

KF and I are both on BCP as of last week.

Mr DG called my haematology consultant to ask if i should start clexane (I have a stock) and he said yes, and go for my platelet check Tuesday.

I know he will want to know all about the IVF and what I’m wondering is whether I should tell him it’s DE IVF, or just plain IVF (in which case, he’d wonder why I hadn’t mentioned stims.) Obviously he should be in the frame, I can’t really imagine NOT telling him the whole story, but my fear is that later on, if I get pregnant, it will be on my notes and I’ll get nasty remarks from the EPU.

It’s not that this is a secret, it’s just that I want to tell people who will be supportive, at the time I decide, and I don’t want to feel even more tense if later on I need to go to the departments where I get so distressed.

What would you do? I know I’m a paranoid worrier when it comes to doctors, I can’t help it!

On another note, KF texted me to see how I am doing. She’s feeling sick. She’s away for the weekend and it was nice to hear from her. I miss being able to chat to her briefly several times a day via the net. I imagine by the end and the testing part, we’ll be joined at the hip, emotionally.

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~ by drownedgirl on April 8, 2007.

8 Responses to “Dilemma”

  1. Glad you’re on the way. My doc just changed my dose of clexane up to 40mg from 20mg and I hadn’t appreciated that this meant twice the volume of the stuff – as you say, oh the stinging!

  2. Letting the doctors treating you know what you’re doing sounds like the best thing to do. How else can they treat you effectively.
    I understand how the unhelpful comments from the EPU would stress you out. And how just thinking about them would stress you out.

    The only thing you can change about the situations is the thinking about the comments beforehand. Easier said than done, I know, but you could try some relaxation techniques to stop replaying those comments in your head. What have you got to lose?

    I’m a worrier and suffer from negative thought loops regularly. Relaxation techniques have helped lessen the problem for me.

    Hang in there.

  3. Can you ask the haematologist NOT to include a reference to DE in his notes? It doesn’t seem relevant to what he’s treating you for in any event.

  4. You need to keep all your doctors abreast of the situation. There are less concerns when going through a DE cycle sometimes because they are treating the embe like it may possibly have the same genetic make up as you and it doesn’t. You never know what the docs are looking at and in order to treat you correctly they need to know everything no matter how insugnificant you think it is. As for the EPU, you need to address your concerns with the units administrator. No one should ever be concerned about their autonomy approching any unit. The EPU should always treat you with dignity and respect the last thing they need to be doing is STRESSING out a pregnant woman. Geez~! I think that you should write a letter if you don’t think you can physically voice your concerns face to face, which is how things like this need to be handled. It shouldn’t matter one red cent on how you became pregnant to the EPU. The only thing that should matter to them is keeping you pregnant to term. I hope the best for you and wish you luck and happiness. I was a KF for a good friend of mine that I haven’t spoke too in a couple of years. You have given me the incentive to call and check up on her and the twins. I also work in a healthcare facility in Patient Services and deal with upset patients all the time. I hope my suggestions help and decrease your worry!
    Take Care. A

  5. Its disgusting that you get any remarks at all, they should know better!

    But it’s probably wise to let him know then not. Good luck 🙂

  6. Well, in fairness, the comments I am upset about weren’t about the DE.

    I’m thinking of my first miscarriage, when I had a scan after spotting. They said that the scan was normal for a 5.5w pregnancy, and took blood. I then got a call from the receptionist at about 5pm saying “There is a 70% chance the pregnancy is non-viable”

    Being a Friday, I couldn’t even call back to find out why things had changed so much between the scan and the blood results.

    Another bad experience was after a miscarriage/D&C when I received an appointment for an NT scan. I called rather upset and was told “We can’t be expected to know about everybody who has a miscarriage” To add insult to injury, they sent through a 20 weeks scan appointment a few weeks later.

    My brain knows this is just normal NHS heavy handedness. But it’s left me very tense and stressed whenever I have to deal with them.

    My last pregnancy, I didn’t go to the EPU at all. I had blood tests arranged by the haematologist or my GP.

  7. I think writing a letter to the manager of the EPU sounds like a good idea too if you have had run ins in the past, explain what you have been through and how you were treated, I think it is disgusting that people are treated so harshly by the NHS, I was so close to going to the papers with my NHS run ins of late, it is terrible. By keeping things from the doctors you are just going to stress yourself out which is negative for you, it’s not going to effect them in anyway. You have a right to the pregnancy care you deserve, like anyone else. I like you, get stressed at the thought of having to book scans or deal with the EPU, but how we get pregnant is irrelavant or should be, if you get your GP and Midwife/obs onside that is half the battle won, hopefully!
    My Gp is going to write to my local hospital to complain about the way my threatened miscarriage was dealt with (or not as the case was, ended up going to UCLH in London). Perhaps get your GP to write a letter if you can you should be classed as a High Risk Pregnancy due to your history and should be monitored and looked after accordingly.( I know that this pregnancy is different but you should get extra care on the back of the past)

    Hope you have a better experience all round this time.

  8. […] to be staffed by bored receptionists and snappy nurses.  I recounted a few of my bad experiences  here, but another springs to […]

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