Mixed feelings

It’s been a funny week.I started off thinking I’d be going for a scan and my Impending Miscarriage would be confirmed. But I’ve bottled out and am just sitting tight. Normally the loss would have been diagnosed by now and I’d be booked for a D&C.

So this is new territory. I bought some maxi-pads today, in expectation that I’ll start to bleed some time soon. Cheerful stuff. In the same shopping basket was a heap of fertility vitamins for DP.

Had acupuncture today. How is that they always smirk with glee when they find that point that is really really tingly? I know I know, that’s the strong magic.

Monday, would have been my mum’s birthday, but she died 20 years ago this year. 20 years ago it was her last birthday. My sister, 19 at the time, was hugely pregnant, and my mum was there when my niece was born. I knew already, that she would never be there if I became a mother.

Monday was also the day DP’s niece had her daughter. I lent her all of DS’s baby things. I’d had a miscarriage (no 5) in Dec 05… she told us she was pregnant in May and I offered the stuff, not sure if we’d try again. Yet in July, I was pregnant again and thought I’d be taking the stuff back for a baby just 3 months younger than hers. But it was not to be. That was miscarriage number 6. And now we’re on number 7.Tomorrow is the EDD for DS. He hung on and was 11 days late. So his party is next Saturday. Tomorrow I’m babysitting for KF’s two kiddiwinks.

It’s been a funny week.

DP hasn’t been for his blood tests or SA. Knock me down with a feather.

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~ by drownedgirl on January 26, 2007.

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